“Valentine’s Day is just a capitalist scam, designed to make people currently in a relationship spend unnecessary money in a fruitless attempt to ensure undying love and devotion. For those of us not in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is simply added pressure to identify ourselves within the context of a romantic relationship, whipping us into a frenzy that only the presence of our soul mates can relieve.”
Whew! I’m willing to bet that poor Heather didn’t receive ANY cards on Valentine’s Day when she was going to school, yet she does have a point. Even with the best of intentions there is at least influence if not an out and out scam involved in the establishment of any ‘day’.
That is not to say we couldn’t have it work in our favor.
The International Centre for Professional Collections (ICPC) has designated February 5th as the official, International “Pay Your Bill Day”.
Barrett Strong was born on the same day on 1941 in West Point, Mississippi. His song “Money (That’s What I Want) was later recorded by the Beatles, The Rolling Stones Jerry Lee Lewis and others, and let’s face it, ‘money is what we want’!
Spokesperson Kurt Nodd, of the ICPC (www.incprocollect.com) with headquarters in Toronto, Canada points out the many advantages for a firm or an individual to bring their account current include:
- It’s worth it to see the surprise on your creditor’s face.
- You don’t have to hesitate to pick up the telephone (or start your car for that matter if you owed Frankie Four Fingers or someone similar, a tad on the shady side).
- You no longer have to wear the fake moustache and glasses when you’re out on the town (of particular benefit to the ladies).
- You can really put the pressure on the people or firms who owe ‘you’ money.
- Increase your credit score and decrease dunning calls and letters.
- Put on a sanctimonious and self-righteous are with relatives or friends who are dodging creditors.
“Perhaps it’s time to tell our debtors goodbye”, added Mr Nodd, “because the only one who sticks closer to them in adversity is a creditor.”
Now, you folks reading this are seasoned and mature enough to know when you might be able to ‘tease’ a payment out of some of your customers with a bit of humor. This can be a great technique with smaller amounts EVEN WAY, WAY PAST DUE! You will find a sample letter at the end of this post you can adapt.
But, speaking of a crass, capitalist scam…,
on this Valentine’s Day, how about sending someone a little Sex…Lies and Negotiation Techniques? Special up to February 14th only, order a copy of the book with FREE shipping in Canada and the United States. Wait, there’s more! We’ll include a personalized Valentine’s card at no extra charge that doubles as a book mark. Good deal, eh? Click here for details and to place order.
Pithy quote: Special for Valentine’s Day
“Next time you hit me with your F**&#ing arrows, you better not miss the other person!”
Use at your own risk, we take no responsibility for any lack of a sense of humor on the part of your customers.